Wednesday, May 2, 2007

My inner 16 year old

I have been realizing over the last few weeks that I really view myself not at 30-something years old, but as 16. I am always suprised when I realize that I am not 16. I am not sure why I feel this way. Could be that the women in my family love to be 100+ and 30-something is a drop in the bucket. It could be because I was in an abusive relationship when I was 18 and that has colored all the rest of my life and when I was 16 life was good. When I was 16 I could drive, I listened to loud music, I went swimming several times a day, I had a job that paid a bit, but not enough for me to live off of, I was in a relationship with a guy I liked a lot.....hmmm...sounds a bit like my life now. ;-) I wonder how old other people view their interal self and why. I know the Fly Guy views himself as an old guy. When I met him when I was 19, he was an old guy in a young guy's body and now his body is finally catching up with his interal self. I wonder if it is easier to have your inner self be older or younger then your real age. I know it is hard to me to reconsile the way I feel and the way my body looks, so that is hard to deal with sometime, but I guess that is life. :-)

1 comment:

LSM said...

My mother claims that I was born as a 30-year-old. She's probably right. :) That's about how old I feel, which might explain why I'm dreading 40.