Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Depression

I suffer from cronic major depression. I do take meds for it along with other ways to deal with it...talk therapy, exercise, etc etc. There are some days even through I know I am doing everything right to treat it, it just doesn't work. I feel like I just want to pull my heart out of my chest because I am in so much pain. I don't want to go any where or do anything. I would love to curl in a ball and let the world pass me by. Days likes those are the days it takes all the strength in my body to get anything done. I have no idea why it showed up today it just did...such is life. Sometimes I just want to cry and it is even too much work to do that.

I know I have no real reason to be depressed because I have a husband who loves me and two wonderful girls who only sometimes drive me crazy. I have a job where they pay me to give out desserts and swing a jump rope. Life is good, just the brain chemistry sucks.

3 comments:

Mary said...

But isn't that what depression is about? Your mood doesn't really match what your life is.

Just remember our mantra -- this too shall pass.

Alto2 said...

I wonder whether the stress of the Girl Scout fiasco set you off. Do you have an idea what your triggers are? Is there such a thing with depression, or am I way off base? In any case, please remember how much all of us adore you and respect you. You're entitled to the occasional pity party, as long as it doesn't lead you to the bottom of Casco Bay.

Christina said...

What I am happy to hear is that you have the wisdom to identify when it hits. And to label it what it is - brain chemistry pure and simple. That means that somewhere in your brain even if the depression has taken hold, there is still a part that knows what is happening and keeps you going until it passes. And RM is right - you know it does pass.