Wednesday, May 30, 2007

What I have done

From One Feather Tail. Those that I have done are in italics, my comments are bold.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said “I love you” and meant it!
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Drunk tequila
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Scored a winning goal (I have never scored the winning goal, but I have prevented the other team from making the winning I made the winning save. I am going to count that.)
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Visited all 5 continents
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign ( I stole the F from a McDonalds sign that said "Now Hiring all Shifts" vegetarian vandlizem. :-) )
44. Backpacked
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
47. Midnight walk on the beach
45. Gone sky diving
49. Taken a train through Europe (Does a midnight train from Moscow to Leningrad count? I still love that trip.)
50. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
51. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
52. Milked a cow
53. Alphabetized your CDs
54. Sung karaoke
55. Lounged around in bed all day
56. Gone scuba diving
57. Kissed in the rain
58. Gone to a drive-in theatre
59. Started a business
60. Taken a martial arts class
61. Been in a movie
62. Crashed a party
63. Gone without food for 5 days
64. Gotten a tattoo
65. Got flowers for no reason
66. Performed on stage
67. Been to Las Vegas
68. Recorded music
69. Eaten shark
70. Buried one/both of your parents
71. Been on a cruise ship
72. Spoken more than one language fluently (My Russian has never been fluent that that is something I have always been a bit upset about.)
73. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
74. Walked a famous bridge
75. Had plastic surgery
76. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
79. Tried to lose weight seriously
80. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be “sick”
90. Swam in the Pacific Ocean
91. Saved someone’s life (Used to be a lifegaurd and I worked on a vollenteer rescue so I have done many things...I hope some of them saved peoples' lives)
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth (Self only)
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Painted Desert
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Had an out-of-body experience

Friday, May 25, 2007


I would like to think I am a forgiving person. I have forgiven many people that friends and family have questioned me about doing.

I just read an article about a man in Salt Lake city who forgave a man killed his wife and two of his kids while driving drunk. I am not so sure I could do that. Forgiveness is a major part of my life so I would like to think that I could forgive someone like that, but I am not sure that I could. Because of that I really admire this man.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Reading level chart

I just got back from walking the girls to school and one of the teachers told me about this chart which is just what I was looking for.

Horse Girl and her reading

I got a call from the person who is setting up Horse Girl's extended year services...she is the same person who did it last year and I know that because she pronounces Horse Girl's name wrong every would be the equivalent of me calling her House Girl because only one letter is wrong and it is still word and maybe a name, but it isn't Horse Girl's name and it upsets me and I correct her and she still does it. I don't feel like I can get really upset about it because this woman is working hard to fit Horse Girl's services around her camp schedule.

Yesterday Horse Girl read to me half of an I level book. She started to get tired so I took over half way through. I totally understand needing to stop reading because something is hard to read. With Horse Girl's and my learning differences reading something that does wear us out when we push ourselves. Fly Guy jokes about how I read Hitler and Stalin: Parallel Lives by Alan Bullock and how he could never read a book like that, but what he doesn't talk about is how it took me about six months and it was hard exhausting reading. So if Horse Girl says she is tired I totally can relate and I don't push her because I don't want make her hate pushing herself, because she pushes herself enough without me pushing too.

If someone knows a website that compares all the different ways of ranking reading level I would love to know about it. The books that I got Horse Girl to read at home are ranked with letters, the ones at school are DRA levels and then there are the RL levels and they all confuse me and I would like to know what they are in relation to each other. For example in January Horse Girl's DRA level was 4 in January, but she just read half an I book yesterday. I would like to know how that compares. It is most likely like converting hogsheads to liters. (Just so you don't need to look it up there are 238 liters in a hogshead. ;-) )

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

What is Your Patronus?

What is Your Patronus? Version 1

Your Patronus is the Badger! The badger is a symbol of aggressiveness, passion and drive. He is also the mascot for Hufflepuff. As your Patronus, the Badger will bite and claw to protect you. Congratulations!That your Patronus is a badger says that you are very driven in whatever you do. When you enjoy something, you go at it with all of your heart. Unfortunately, you also tend to be aggressive, and this can lead to a bossy attitude. Try to keep that aggression in check, and you'll be a wonderful witch or wizard!
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

House Sorting

Well this doesn't surprise one bit at this point after being told that I am part of the Wesley family with the two character quizzes.

a Gryffindor!

"You belong in Gryffindor,
where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
set Gryffindors apart."

Gryffindor values courage, chivalry and boldness. Its emblematic animal is the lion, and its colours are scarlet and gold. Minerva McGonagall is the most recent Head of House. Nearly Headless Nick is the house ghost. The founder of the house is Godric Gryffindor.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

More Harry Potter Time Wasting

Which would you prefer for a pet: Hedwig, Crookshanks, Trevor, Fang or Fawkes?


What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?

My family and myself to be happy and healthy both mentally and physically healthy

What subject would be your favorite at Hogwarts? (assume a nice and competent teacher): Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Divination, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures or Defense Against the Dark Arts?

Care of Magical Creatures

Which woud be your least favorite?


I hate gardening

In which House would the Sorting Hat place you?


Could you see Thestrals?


Which Quidditch position would you prefer to play: Keeper, Beater, Chaser, or Seeker?


Which magical object would be most useful to you, Sneak-o-scope, Foe Glass, Time-turner, Remembrall, or Pensieve?


What would be your preferred Hogwarts sweet: Chocolate Frogs, Bertie's Every Flavor Beans, Acid pops, Cockroach cluster?

Acid Pops......I really do love these girls think I am crazy. :-)

Pumpkin juice, butterbeer, or elf-made wine?

Pumpkin juice

Is your best friend more like Ron, Herimone, Luna, Neville, Ginny or Hagrid?


Is the most toxic person in your life more like Lockhart, Snape, Umbridge, Malfoy, Filch or Fudge?

Is your most embarrassing relative most like Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, Dudley, or Percy Weasley?

Aunt Petunia
What shape would your patronus take?

A dolphin


I suffer from cronic major depression. I do take meds for it along with other ways to deal with therapy, exercise, etc etc. There are some days even through I know I am doing everything right to treat it, it just doesn't work. I feel like I just want to pull my heart out of my chest because I am in so much pain. I don't want to go any where or do anything. I would love to curl in a ball and let the world pass me by. Days likes those are the days it takes all the strength in my body to get anything done. I have no idea why it showed up today it just did...such is life. Sometimes I just want to cry and it is even too much work to do that.

I know I have no real reason to be depressed because I have a husband who loves me and two wonderful girls who only sometimes drive me crazy. I have a job where they pay me to give out desserts and swing a jump rope. Life is good, just the brain chemistry sucks.

Wedding anniversary

Yesturday was Fly Guy and my 13th Anniversary. Things between us are as good or better then when we got married. We have gone through many ups and downs but he is always there for me and I try hard to been there for him.

Did we do anything to celelbrate? Well I had a Girl Scout Leaders' Award Ceremony. My co-leader and I and our troop brought home a ton of awards and pins and leaves, but it wasn't any time with Fly Guy. Fly Guy had to go to the Middle School Open House for incoming 6th grade parents. Fly Guy got home first and let my mother who was watching the girls head home. I got home around 9:30pm. Fly Guy had a dozon roses and some desserts. So we sat and talked about our day and ate dessert and went to bed. So we did celebrate, but not in a huge way.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


I got these questions from a friends blog and I just had to do it because I love my mug.

1. Can you show us your coffee cup?
2. Can you comment on it? Do you think it reflects on your personality?
3. Do you have any interesting anecdotes resulting from coffee cup commentary?
4. Can you try to get others to comment on it?

First thing my mug is not a coffee cup. I do not drink coffee. I sometimes drink hot tea but not that often. Most of the time I do use it for hot chocolate.

My mug is Classic Winnie the Pooh and it is a Christmas scene. The words around the top say "Dear Santa, My spelling is wobbly, but I've been a good bear, Pooh." Yes most likely it should be just a Christmas mug, but it is so me I use it year round. My spelling and handwritting is very wobbly, but I try to be a good person. So the mug really states a big part of me and I love Pooh. My family knows if someone else tries to use my mug they will be dis-membered.

Horse Girl and her Riding Lesson

I didn't take Horse Girl to her riding lesson today since Fly Guy was home he wanted to take her today.

It has been raining a lot so we didn't know if there would be a lesson or not, but Horse Girl likes going no matter what because she liked cleaning out the stalls and all the horse stuff that goes with loving horses.

Turns out there wasn't a lesson because of the rain, but the horses were out in the field running around because the rain had just stopped enough to let them out for a bit.

Horse Girl mucks the stalls and then goes out with Fly Guy to watch the horses running in the field. She turns to him and says "I love watching horses running it makes me forget everything else." She really loves horses.

History Girl and her state report

At my girls school the 5th graders are expected to do a lot of reports, projects and events because because they are the oldest kids in the school and they want to get them ready for the much bigger middle school. Some of the events are just great like the trip down to Boston to walk the Freedom Trail. They have done things like an egg drop and write a report on how they did experiments to end up with the egg holder that they ended up with.

One of the things they have to do is write a report on a state that they picked out of a hat. History Girl ended up with Utah. We discovered that she had very little knowledge about how to do a research paper without using the Internet. So we decided that she should spend the morning at the library doing research the old fashion way. Having paid a good part of my college expenses by working at as an assistant to the reference librarian, it was not a good thing to have my daughter not to know how to do research at a library without the Internet. I did let her use the computer library catalog I didn't make her use a card catalog...I don't think the city library even has a card catalog.

History Girl is sitting at the dining room table right now whining because of how hard we have made this report for her since she has to use real books rather then just looking up info on the computer. Poor poor her, we just torture her. She should contact Department Human Services and report us since clearly we are unfit parents. Maybe we are unfit parents because I just assumed that the teachers would show how to do book research as well as Internet research....well we all know what they saying about assuming things.

So I am not sure if History Girl will ever use the info she is learning about Utah, but she will always remember how she found it. :-) Maybe I made her do this report this way because I still have fond memories doing my report on Newfoundland when I was her age. It was my first big report that I needed to research at the library. History Girl has done many many reports but it seems all of them she did the research online. From now on she will know how to do research even if the power is out and the Internet connection is down. ;-)

Friday, May 18, 2007

Horse Girl

Yesturday I went to see the ADHD specialist once again. She took Horse Girls's Neuropsych eval to three other neuropsychs to find out their opinon. Everyone of them said the wording that the Neuropsych used in Horse Girl's report was just awful no concern about the child's future in school and what the words in the report might do to the child's education. With all that said all three Neuropsychs felt that the one we took Horse Girl to is jumping the gun diagnosing her as ADHD. Since the only symptoms she has of ADHD is some distractablity and being more active them most girls. She has traits that make ADHD diagnouses improbable and then there is the whole genetic componant. So the ADHD specialist is writing a report stating that she isn't ruling inattention problems in or out for Horse Girl at this time, she would like to see us treat the learning disablities first and deal with those and then when she is older...say 10 years old...then have another neuropsych exam if things haven't been totally cleared up by then. If after this letter the school seems to push medication then she will write a letter stating clearly that she doesn't think that is the right thing at this time for her. So that is all good.

To make yesturday even better....Horse Girl read me two sentances from a book she had never seen before. I was driving so I had to make sure I didn't cry since I was so happy to hear her do that. Of course she is really picking up momentum right now when it comes to reading....of course it happens now because there is only 4 more weeks of school. At least she will be getting extended year services for 6 weeks this Summer, so that just leaves a handful of weeks that Fly Guy and I have to keep things rolling for her. I do hope a opening shows up at the local Scotish Rite Dyslexia Center because they are one of the best places for Dyslexic children to get help, but because of financal issues they have had happen to them over the last few years we have no idea how long Horse Girl will need to wait to get a space.

On my Feburary Moms email list one of the moms just posted about her son and how he reads at a 4th grade level and they are having so much trouble because of it. I know she must be having problems with it...I know it is hard when you have a gifted many ways it is harder then having a kid with learning differances because of the various legal rights and stuff. With all that said it was hard for me to read that email. Horse Girl pours over books and looks at them and looks at the words and I know once we figure out the key for her she will love to read and I so wish that she could read what she wants to read. She works so hard at it. It is also hard because reading did coming very easily to History Girl and she seems to find reading more of a chore then anything else and I admit that it is hard for me who still struggles with reading that it comes so easily to her and she doesn't see gift she has. Oh well I guess that is how it is with everyone it is always easier to see the gifts other people have then the ones we have ourself.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

More on History Girl

History Girl has started correcting teachers in the middle of class again. I am glad she is smart and knows the subjects she loves really well, but I have always felt correcting a teacher should be done in private. This is something Fly Guy and I don't see eye to eye on. He feels that if a teacher isn't teaching correct info then they should be corrected ASAP. This is one of the reasons when we were in college the head of the computer science department wasn't sad to see him leave school, since he was always correcting him in the middle of the lecture. If anyone has some sort of view on this subject feel free to leave comments.

History Girl corrected her teacher on the facts that John Hancock did have a wife....her teacher said he didn't. History Girl also corrected her teacher when her teacher said Samual Adams didn't have a wife....well he didn't have _A_ wife....he had two wives over his lifetime.

History Girl has been studying the US Revoltionary War period off and on since she was about 5 years old. It is a subject she loves and she knows a lot about it and she doesn't mind telling people what she knows.

Thursday History Girl and her class are going to Boston to walk the Freedom Trail. She has been looking forward to this trip for years since it has been the tradition in her school for decades that the 5th grade makes this trip. I hope there is good weather and I hope her teachers won't leave her in Boston because she can't keep quite.

The last few days have been good for her. No panic attacks or if there has been some she has been able to work through them herself. I hope this is a good sign.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was nice. Fly Guy helped the girls make me breakfast in bed....fruit salad with yogurt, chocolate chip muffins, orange breakfast rolls and tea. It was nice.

The girls totally understand that their mother is very much a kid at heart. For gifts they got me stuff from scrapbooking. Since I remember sticker collecting when I was 10 years old stickers for scrapbooking is just an offshoot of that. :-) Plus they got me Spider Spud. Fly Guy is getting me a new bike computer for my Tri training, but he wants me to pick it out so I don't have it in hand yet. The other thing he did for me is switch our electricity to renewable energy so now our house a zero carbon admiting home and I will be getting a sticker stating that fact when it comes in the mail. So my girls and my husband seem to know me and what I like. :-)

In the afternoon they took me for a bubble tea which I always love.

For dinner, my parents, and both my grandmothers came for dinner. I am so greatful that Fly Guy did all the work for dinner. I am so please I have a husband that loves cooking so I don't have to stress holidays. The only two holidays I cook for are Thanksgiving because cooking a turkey is easy and Christmas Eve because I can make the dinner a day or two ahead. Everything else Fly Guy deals with.

This past Saturday

On Saturday the 12th I drove my parents down to Boston area to visit my brother, his wife and their new baby. For a baby who isn't mine she is very cute. The visit was great the baby is so sweet and it was great to see my brother being a dad. He is good at it he took care of the crying baby while his wife was trying to eat dinner. The issue was the drive. I haven't been in the car for alone with my parents since I was in high school. The small talk made me want to dig my eyes out with a spoon. Well that is ok. I did get to see my very cute niece. :-)

I gave my SIL her first Mother's Day gifts which was nice. The only reason I beat my brother to it is because I gave to her on Saturday and not on real Mother's Day.

Which Harry Potter Lesser Character are you?

Well I guess I am a member of the Weasley family no matter what. ;-) I have always liked to think I was a Gryffindor and being a Weasley makes it clear that I am. :-)

[i'm bill weasley]

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

Congrats! You're Gryffindor alumnus Bill Weasley!

You know you're cool when even the kid who defeated Voldemort thinks so. You have a disposition that attracts people to you as friends and allies. And it's not just your outward appearance - under all your coolness, you're smart enough to be Head Boy/Girl, too.

(Your moment of glory - so far, at least - came in Goblet of Fire when Harry Potter declared your undeniable ponytail-wearing cool factor.)

Time Magazine and Harry Potter

I found it interesting that I found several people visiting my blog, by coming through and I was puzzled. I when and checked it out. This is the web site they are coming from. If you click on related blogs, you will see my blog listed, which I just find totally odd since I haven't even been blogging for a month and my blog only once and awhile hits upon Harry Potter.

Here is an artist's interprtation of the covers of the Harry Potter title Time Magazine is suggesting.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

What is your Harry Potter alter ego?

You scored as Ron Weasley. You often feel like second best and as a result don't have an awful lot of self confidence, but a truer more capable friend would be hard to find.

Ron Weasley


Remus Lupin


Ginny Weasley


Hermione Granger


Severus Snape


Albus Dumbledore


Harry Potter


Sirius Black


Draco Malfoy


Lord Voldemort


Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with

More problems History Girl and a little bit of rambleing

I don't know what to do about History Girl. Her therapist is away for the week. On Tuesday she totally lost control and freaked out and kicked me. She was upset about something....I can't remember what. It had to do with her worrying about something poisoning her and when I tried to calm her down she was on the stairs above me and she kicked me in the stomach.

Yesturday she ended up not going to Girl Scouts, because she scraped her knee on a rusty piece of metal and she was sure she was going to die from it. I showed her she was up to date on all her shots and stuff, but she freaked out for hours. We couldn't let her go to Girl Scouts like that. She was so looking forward to working with the Brownies that were visiting her troop yesurday, but all I could see is her freaking out on a poor little Brownie and scaring that Brownie for life. So I sent her to bed early and had her rest.

What is heartbreaking about the whole thing if you talk to her about it later, she knows she is not being logical and rational when it comes to the things that cause the panic attacks. It seems like the panicing part of her brain totalally takes over rational side of her brain and she can't contol it.

I have talked to the people at her school and we are working on a behavior menu for History Girl so she knows first she does A...if that doesn't help she does B...then C and so on until she feels normal again.

Fly Guy says he sometimes wonders if it was a bad idea for us to mix our genes with the mental stuff that flows through our families. Well with my cronic major depression and my learning issues, anyone mixing their genes with me would have kids with some sort of problems. I guess I have always known that but it is hard concept to realize.

I have been feeling very high levels of stress and of all things that could be helping me. The thing that has been destressing me the most is reading Fan written Harry Potter stories. Some of them are quite good and they take my mind off of things.

Normally I swim to destress, but at this point if I swim any more I will grow gills. Plus two people that I swim with in high school have joined my Masters Swim Team. I am not sure how I feel about it, because I have never been an awesome swimmer, even though I love it. I am like the 7th best backstroker in Maine in my age group, but that is mostly because I keep going on while other people drop out. These two people from my past who have showed up in my Master's Swim Team are people swimming fast is second nature to them. One of them at 40 years old and nearly breaks the one minute mark for 100 free. I have to say that I am a little upset with them showing up because I finally was viewed as good at swimming, when growing up I was just average when it came to it and the only way I have been able to become one of the best is to keep doing it while others dropped by the way side. So I am a bit bitter right now and I know that isn't right for me to feel that way. So this is just the long way of me saying I am not as joyful about swimming as I have been lately. I have always loved swimming and once I get over this bitterness I will love it again, just give me a month or so. :-)

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Greek God

I took this Greek God quiz for fun. The result didn't suprise me with the amount of time I am swimming or thinking about swimming.

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??


I just walked my girls over to school this morning and it turns out that Horse Girl has a writing prompt and History Girl has NWEA testing today. When I dropped the girls off I over heard some parents complaining about accomodations some of the kids get. Well Horse Girl gets to do her writting prompts in the Resorse Room and she is allowed to have extra time to do them. Which seems fine to me. All through college I took my tests on computers because I can type faster then I can write so my brain and my hands don't stumble over each other trying to get my thoughts out. Plus in college I got double time for my tests. When I took my GREs and GMATs I also used a computer and got double time. So to me accomodations aren't something I think about if someone says they need them then fine they should get them.

What suprises me more then anything are the very smart people that I know who seem to think that accomodations aren't fair to the people who have to take the test "normally." First of all I want to scream and say "For Pete's Sake I would love to give up my accomodations to be able to read and write like other people." I would give up Horse Girl's accomodations for to be able to read and write like other people.

Extra time doesn't make the test easier. If you don't have the information in your brain no matter how long you look at that test it will not magically appear. That is just the way it is. The extra time is just so people who have problems with reading and writing can have the time to process things. I personally think time tests are just stupid in the first place. As I said if a person doesn't know the info then they have nothing to put down for an answer so it doesn't matter how long testing period is.

I am not sure if this has made it into the news other places, but there is a man who has learning differances and he has graduated from law school and the Bar will not let him have accomodations for Bar exam. That makes me so angry....because the Law School let him have accomodation at school and now he can't seem to become a practicing lawyer because of issues around accomodations. I have had people say to me about this case that lawyers have to think on their feet so that is why it needs to be a timed test and it wouldn't be fair to the clients of a person who only past the Bar because of accomodations. WHAT?!?!? For Pete's Sake this is 2007, we aren't living in the dark ages, there is no reason to protect the disabled people from themselves. People with Learning Differences know they have issues, if these people talked to the guy or any person with learning issues they would find out that they knows what they are good at and what they aren't and they steer away from the stuff they aren't good at.

I most likely won't ever be going back to college again, even though I would love to. I love college I love higher learning....heck I just love school. I went to see about taking the Praxis test to see about going back to school to become a special ed teacher. Well ETS says that even though I have had accomodation with them in the past because it was more then 5 years ago, I need to be retested to prove that I still have learning disablities. Gee....they must know something that I don't. I guess in their world people can grow out of having learning disablities. You don't know how much I wish that was true, because it would give me some hope for Horse Girl's future that she might not have all the issues I have had and won't need to fight the same battles I have, but I know that that is not the case and ETS is just a self serving company.

ETS worries about how people view their tests. If they didn't make people jump through hoops to get accomdations then schools might not view the tests as accurate. If schools didn't see the tests ass accurate then they would stop requiring people to take the tests to apply for admitions and if that happens then ETS would lose money.

It just strikes me a bit ironic that if some of the best minds ever.....for example: Einstein, Churchill, Disney, DeVinci, Edison, Faraday, etc. asked for accomodations to process the test they would be told they couldn't have it unless they went through testing in the last 5 years to prove they have a "problem".

I just finished reading a Biography on Einstein....I read his biographies when I am down and want to remember the gifts of being dyslexic. In the biography they quoted stuff he wrote saying how some of his best theries came to him as pictures in his brain. Which makes total sence to me.

The reason it makes sence is because I know I don't read like other people, I don't sound out words. Sounding out words just confuses me. I sight read, ever word I read is a word I have memorized the shape of and that is how we are working on teaching Horse Girl to read. Dyslexics think with pictures not words. Which works ok most of the time, but does cause problems. When I am reading and there is a name that I don't know and is hard to memorize....happens often in Russian History books and in Fantasy books....I ended up "reading" the name by saying ok this is the person with the long name that starts with A and ends with i and his patranimic is that is how I "read" the person's name through the whole book. It only becomes a problem if there is a lot of long names that start and end with the same letters. Which is the case with Lord of the Rings (LOTR). I love Fantsy books, but I have never been able to read LOTR because of the people's names. I get confused and give up. I am thinking I should get it on an audiobook since I know Horse Girl loves the movies so I bet she will want to read them at some point and I don't want her to deal with the frustration I have had. This might be one of the reasons I like the Harry Potter books so much, they are fantasy books, but all the names in the book are either ones that I know from day to day life or they are easy for me to memorize.

Well I got off my topic about accomodations. I know I could be tested again to prove that I still have my LDs, but in reality it isn't worth my time or money right now at this point in my life, when I know I already have the paperwork to prove my issues.....just they won't except them. I need to pour my time and money into getting Horse Girl her paperwork to prove her issues and maybe once I am done with that. I can work on me again.

Quick catch up

I have several things to post about because I have been busy.

First of all my niece (Publisher Brother's baby) was finally born and there has been much excitement. I haven't seen her in person, but in photos she seems very cute for a baby that isn't mine. ;-) My brother seems to be shaping up to be a great dad and I am proud of him.

Second of all I was away all weekend doing Girl Scout overnight camp training. 18 hours worth of training and I have learned to make cornbread in a cardboard box and make a camp fire and steam muffins. I had a good time. One of the trainers is a music teacher at the school I went to when I graduated from High School and she taught us campfire songs, so it was nice to have someone who really can sing teach that part of the training, because that could have been really hard to sit through if it was just someone who "knew" the songs rather then someone who could sing the songs.

Because of this training, my eyes were so sore from all the campfire smoke and my lungs were sore from it I ended up not swimming yesturday because of the lung issue and it wasn't until Fly Guy got me some eye drops did my eyes start to feel better. They still are a little sore, but they are better.

I have other things I should write about, but I need to get the girls ready for school.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

My inner 16 year old

I have been realizing over the last few weeks that I really view myself not at 30-something years old, but as 16. I am always suprised when I realize that I am not 16. I am not sure why I feel this way. Could be that the women in my family love to be 100+ and 30-something is a drop in the bucket. It could be because I was in an abusive relationship when I was 18 and that has colored all the rest of my life and when I was 16 life was good. When I was 16 I could drive, I listened to loud music, I went swimming several times a day, I had a job that paid a bit, but not enough for me to live off of, I was in a relationship with a guy I liked a lot.....hmmm...sounds a bit like my life now. ;-) I wonder how old other people view their interal self and why. I know the Fly Guy views himself as an old guy. When I met him when I was 19, he was an old guy in a young guy's body and now his body is finally catching up with his interal self. I wonder if it is easier to have your inner self be older or younger then your real age. I know it is hard to me to reconsile the way I feel and the way my body looks, so that is hard to deal with sometime, but I guess that is life. :-)

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Issues with History Girl

History Girl has been having problems with depression and anxiety for most of this school year. She has been going to a therapist and that seems to be working.

Today when I was working at the school History Girl came up to me and asked me if shampoo was toxic. I told her no the shampoo she uses is not toxic. Clearly she was gearing up for another anxiety attack. Since I work in the school from 11:30 - 1:30 she knows where to find me and that I am in the school for those hours. She ended up going to the school's office and telling them she was sick and wanted to go home. She knows the rule, if she isn't vomiting or has a fever she doesn't come home sick. So I told the school secretary that History Girl was not coming home with me and I was going out the back way so History Girl wouldn't see me because that would have made her even more upset. I feel like a bad mother, but I know that I can't give in to her on coming home. It isn't like I don't already have an appointment with her therapist for this afternoon to try to figure out what is going on. I am not ignoring the situation. I am sneaking out the back of the daughters' school. :-P

She has been having a problem for the last two months or so, that if she gets anything into her mouth that isn't food, she panics and is sure that she is going to die from what went into her mouth. She has been having trouble sleeping because of this and things like that.

I talk to friends who are mothers to figure out how to parent in various situations, but this isn't something I have been able to find help dealing with. I have no idea how to handle a kid with is having anxiety attacks of this level. I am doing the best I can, but I still feel like I am messing up.